Agreeing with others, especially when they are pointing out your faults, is not easy, but it can play a crucial role in peacemaking. When you are talking with another person, first listen for the truth, resisting the temptation to defend yourself, blame others, or focus on points of disagreement. Ask yourself, "Is there any truth in what he or she is saying?" If your answer is "yes," acknowledge what is true and identify your common ground before moving to your differences. Doing so is a sign of wisdom and spiritual maturity. "Let a righteous man strike me--it is a kindness; let him rebuke me--it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it" (Ps. 141:5). "He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise" (Prov. 15:31; cf. 15:5; 17:10; 25:12). By agreeing with the other person whenever possible, you can resolve certain issues easily and then focus profitably on matters that deserve further discussion.

Peace it together...
Think back to arguments you've had. Can you recall a single time when quickly defending yourself from the criticism of another brought peace?   Rather than leaping to our own defence, James exhorts us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (Jas. 1:19). Consider the beginning of Proverbs 15:31: "He who listens to a life-giving rebuke..." Simply put, listening requires time - and reflection on what's been said. You have literally nothing (except pride) to lose and everything to gain by listening respectfully and not responding quickly when someone points out what they believe to be a fault of yours.

The next time someone brings a rebuke your way, hold yourself back from an immediate defensive response till you've had time to check in with the Lord about it. You might say, "That's hard for me to hear, but I know I need to be quick to listen and slow to speak, so I'd like some time to think deeply about what you've said." If it turns out that you still disagree with the other person, at least you'll both have the benefit of knowing that you've taken what they've said seriously, brought it before God and your words are more than a defensive knee-jerk reaction.

Is there a person who's challenged your behaviour recently?  Reflect before God on whether there was any truth in what they were saying, and whether you need to address that with God or them now.

Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande. This material is published by Peacemaker Ministries www.peacemaker.net